Alright, people, buckle up! The 2026 Olympics are coming, and you know what that means. It means it’s time to talk about figure skating. Now, I know some of you out there think figure skating is all sparkly dresses and gentle spins. And yeah, it is. But it’s also pure drama. It’s a tiny little ice ballet with a side of intense competition. And this year, some performances are already buzzing. They’re the ones that will be playing on repeat in your head, the ones your friends will be sending you links to at 2 AM.
First up, let’s talk about the ice queen herself, Anya Petrova. Everyone’s expecting her to dominate. She’s been practicing this new routine for what feels like forever. It’s got a storyline, a whole dramatic arc. Think of a Shakespearean tragedy, but with more jumps. They say she’s going for a quadruple axel. A QUADRUPLE AXEL! My ankles hurt just thinking about it. The pressure is on. Will she land it? Or will it be a spectacular, glittery fall? We'll all be holding our breath, and probably spilling our popcorn.
Then there’s the young gun, Leo Dubois. This kid is something else. He’s got this effortless style. He glides across the ice like he’s got little invisible rockets on his skates. His program this year is set to some seriously funky jazz music. I’m talking horns, I’m talking a walking bassline. It’s a bold choice. Some purists might scoff. They might say it’s too modern, too much attitude. But honestly? I love it. It’s refreshing. It’s a little bit like watching your cool uncle try to breakdance at a wedding, but, you know, good.
And we can’t forget the dynamic duo, The Sterling Sisters. These two are sisters, yes, but they skate like they share a single brain. Their lifts are insane. They’re practically defying gravity. Their costume changes mid-program are legendary. I’m not even kidding, I saw a sneak peek, and one of them did a costume change while being spun around. How? I have no idea. My own coordination peaks at “not tripping on the rug.” They’re going for a romantic, sweeping number this year. Think classic Hollywood romance. Will it be too cheesy? Maybe. Will I cry? Absolutely.
Now, for my slightly unpopular opinion. There’s a skater named Kenji Tanaka. He’s technically brilliant, of course. His jumps are perfect, his spins are dizzying. But his programs… they always feel a little safe. Like he’s afraid to step outside the box. This year, he’s doing a program to classical music. Again. It’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong. But I’m secretly hoping for something wild. Maybe a medley of 80s power ballads. Or perhaps a routine inspired by a really intense video game. Imagine him landing a quad jump to the sound of a "level up" jingle. I think he’d win our hearts, even if the judges gave him a little ding for creativity.
And then there’s the dark horse, a newcomer from a country you might not expect, Isolde Schmidt. Nobody really knows what to expect from her. Her national competitions were impressive, but the Olympics are a whole different beast. Rumor has it her program is incredibly abstract. Think modern art on ice. Lots of unexpected movements, maybe some floor work on the ice. It sounds utterly bizarre. It could be a disaster. Or it could be a stroke of genius. I’m putting my money on it being the most talked-about performance, regardless of the outcome. It’s the kind of thing you watch and think, “What was that?” and then immediately want to watch it again.
I’m predicting some epic fails, some unbelievable triumphs, and a whole lot of sequins.
You know, figure skating is a sport where art meets athleticism. It’s where tiny humans perform superhuman feats while looking like they’re about to float away on a cloud of hairspray. It’s a delicate balance. Sometimes the artistry shines, and sometimes the athleticism takes center stage. And sometimes, it all just comes together in a perfect, magical moment.
I’m already clearing my schedule. I’m stocking up on snacks. I’m practicing my dramatic gasps in the mirror. Because the 2026 Olympics figure skating is going to be a show. These skaters are going to push boundaries. They’re going to break hearts. And they’re going to give us all something to talk about for years to come. Even if my personal favorite is the one who dances to power ballads. Don’t @ me.
